一无是处

自尊心
不管对
2岁
12岁
或
20岁,
都是那么地重要!
有时侯
不是不敢在别人前做
而是
做到不好会被讥笑.
自己觉得骄傲的事情
对别人而言
也许不值得一提.
那么,
还需要bok miang做到最好吗?
更加让自己觉得
自己是一无是处!

Year 2010

3 days to end of year 2010!
I have gone through different experiences throughout year 2010.
Failure in April
Shock in June
Surprise in August
Anger in September
Sorrow in October
Stress in November
and
Happiness in December!
I experienced
ups
and
downs
throughout the year.
I learn to be humble
as there is always someone better than me out there.
I learn to be grateful
as not everyone is there to serve me.
I learn to be strong,
perhaps pretending to be strong
as I have to settle every single thing on my own.
I learn to stand firmly with my principles
as this can prevent me from doing something wrong.
I learn to voice up
as this is one and only way to protect myself.
I am not sure how mature I am
but no doubt that
I've grown up a wee bit!
: )

ssshhh

sometimes
I prefer to be silent.

A broken heart girl

Never ever take someone for granted!
When she/he is still being with you,
please appreciate her/him.
They are not born
to serve you
and
stand for your hot tempered.
Please bear that in mind!
When you lose her/him
and
you are regret on what you have done before,
everything seems to be too late.
The broken heart needs time to be cured.
The broken memories need time to be recovered.
I know that
it takes a great deal of time.

Tiger

Calm down man!
Calm down!
Tiger asked you
to
CALM DOWN ar!!
hahaha
I just find this picture funny
and
post it on my blog only.
You know
I am just too free!
My 3-month summer holiday is just started~
yea,
it is 3-month long!
How should I fully utilize my summer holidays?
Definitely NO
for part time job!
I just wanna rest enough play enough
before
commencement of next semester.
Please mama!
Don't send me to any audit firm please? : (

DKNY

Do you know
what does DKNY stand for?
Donna Karan New York!!!
I wouldn't have known it
until the day I met it.
I am not used to be brand-minded
since I am not born with a silver spoon in mouth.
You know,
this really smells good.
I won't beg my family to buy this for me
because
It is too expensive to own this right now!
I mean
I am still a uni student.
This may be too over if for a student like me.
So
what is the purpose of posting such post?
It is all about posting for fun actually.
: )

exhausted!

Last paper to go~
But somehow
my heart isn't on the book
but
FACEBOOK and PPS!
These are major distractions
that I can't get rid of.
After tomorrow,
I will be free.
Actually,
I am semi-free now!
I have been working like hell past few weeks
and
I am sort of exhausted now.
I mean
I am tired of doing revision.
hahahaha!
Lame excuse for myself.
well well~
better off now and start my revision!
otherwise,
I don't know how to encounter the exam tomorrow.
: P

the sky is raining!

The sky is
RAINING!

sorry~

I am so sorry!
frankly speaking,
I don't feel good too.
I know
I am not good in expressing my feeling.
I always expressed it in a
WRONG
way.
Sorry for my stupidity!
Sorry for my childishness!
Sorry for everything!
I am so sorry!
It is okay
if you put the blame on me
and
I will take it silently.
: (

LOST and Found!

You know
I am lost!
I don't know which path I should take.
I am afraid that I've taken the wrong path
but
I am pretty sure what I really want.
I wish that
I can find myself back one day.
Perhaps
in lost and found?
But
how long will it be?
1-month?
1-year?
Or even
several years?
Thanks for all kinds of understanding and forgiveness!
I will be back soon!
How soon will it be?
This is a tough question!

lonely girl

I wish
I am tough enough.
I wish
I am free from loneliness.
But,
I am pretty sure that
I am weak enough
and
I am always suffering of stupid loneliness.
This feeling
is sort of annoying
and it
keeps torturing me
from time to time
from day to day.
what else can I do?
I am sorry
for my stupidity
but
I just can't control myself.
why?
: (

独家记忆

独家记忆-陈小春歌词

作词：易家扬 作曲：陶昌廷 编曲：terry chan

忘记分开后的第几天起
喜欢一个人看下大雨
没联络 孤单就象连锁反映
想要快乐都没力气

泪雨世界象场灾难电影
让现在的我可怜到底
对不起 谁也没有时光机器
已经结束的没有商量的余地

我希望你 是我独家的记忆
摆在心底 不管别人说得多么难听
现在我拥有的事情
是你 是给我一半的爱情

我喜欢你 是我独家的记忆
谁也不行 从我这个身体中拉走你
在我感情的封锁区
有关于你 绝口不提 没问题

泪雨世界象场灾难电影
让现在的我可怜到底
对不起 谁也没有时光机器
已经结束的没有商量的余地

我希望你 是我独家的记忆
摆在心底 不管别人说得多么难听
现在我拥有的事情
是你 是给我一半的爱情

我喜欢你 是我独家的记忆
谁也不行 从我这个身体中拉走你
在我感情的封锁区
有关于你 绝口不提 没关系

我希望你 是我独家的记忆
摆在心底 不管别人说得多么难听
现在我拥有的事情
是你 是给我一半的爱情

我喜欢你 是我独家的记忆
谁也不行 从我这个身体中拉走你
在我感情的封锁区
有关于你 绝口不提 没限期

Recently
I'm so into with this song.
The music video is touching
the lyrics are just nice
and the music
is just too good to describe the story.
No one is able to make it
just like what the man did.
Although the girl doesn't remember him at all,
he still concerns on her a lot
trying to approach her.
This only happens in dream
but NOT
in reality.
Guys,
don't ever say that you're this kind of man bla bla bla.
Stop giving the sweet lies la!
Once you've said it,
that means you aren't.
Girls,
don't ever dream of having this kind of man.
You can have him
if you're in that music video.
Don't ever be fooled by the sweet "promise"!

specially dedicate to my family!

This picture just represents my family well.
I LOVE my family!
When I am in hot soup
they are always there for me
with no delay.
They are the ones
who treat me well truly
from their heart.
I should do something in return.
: )

YOU THINK TOO MUCH!

YOU THINK TOO MUCH!
This
reminds of me
stop thinking too much!
I used to be
PESSIMISTIC.
I like to think everything in a bad manner.
That's why
I HATE watching movies or drama
with
bad ending.
This definitely spoils my day!
Kind of emotional
but
I ain't emo!
: (

Today wasn't a fairy tale!

Today wasn't a fairy tale.
PLEASE
wake up from your dream!
I am no longer a princess
from today onwards.
: (

piles!

Look!
The ant is kind of pity right?
It needs to carry pieces of biscuits on its own.
Same goes to me!
I need to carry piles of school works on my own.
Others are relaxing
whereas
I am struggling.
I struggle for a lil' extra time
for a lil' relaxation.
2nd year isn't that funny.
That's why I always said,
it's good to be 19.5
instead of being 20.
When you're 20,
everything will be doubled.
Just like your age
your stress
your workload,
they will be doubled without any notification.
They come at no sense
but they will torture you before leaving.
No matter how well you treat them,
they won't give up the chance of torturing you!
What goes around comes around.
It doesn't make sense here!
OMG!
What happen with me today?

lonely isle

As if
I am in a lonely isle,
nobody really understands me.
I
promise myself
I won't care so much
and
I won't expect so much.
When I say it
I mean it!!

purple-hearted

Today
my heart is in a lil' purple.
What does it mean?
Anything pops into your mind
when you think of purple?
When I see purple,
I think of mystery with a lil' sweet.
I think of a lil' laziness under a hot weather.
What am I talking about?
Perhaps Ivy is in purple shirt today
and
makes her think too much.
Purple
is the color I love the most.
Purple
is the color I wish to own the most.
There is only white Christmas
but there is no such thing for purple Christmas.
Sounds romantic
right?
Why don't they create one?
And
I'm still hopping for a purplish one.
: )

where are you?

I am looking for YOU!
You know
I am desperate for you.
I wish to get you for quite a long time ago.
I don't know where I can get you.
I want you to be special!
I want you to be extraordinary!
I want you to be one and only!
But
where can I look for you?
Kay Elle?
Kay Kay?
Definitely you aren't in miri or even tawau I guess.
Where are you?
I still couldn't find something I've been looking for.
why?
: (

understanding

Understanding is required in all kinds of relationship like
FAMILY,
FRIENDSHIP
as well as
RELATIONSHIP.
I ain't a good daughter.
I ain't a good friend.
And
I ain't a good girl friend.
I don't know what I should do all the time
especially
when there is dispute.
Comprising is important,
isn't it?
Never mind!
Just put all the blame on me
and
I will take it quietly.

silent please!

Sometimes
I choose to remain silent
to calm down myself
and
to let myself be free from any anger, disappointment and sadness.
Sometimes
I just wish to remain silent
for no reason.
I ain't kind of people who prefer to reveal everything
to release their negative feeling.
No doubt that
this is a good way for releasing me myself.
But
I just wish to keep quiet
before I reveal everything.
This doesn't mean
I am stupid
and
I don't know what's going on.
I just wish to keep my mouth shut
unless it reaches the maximum
as
I know that
it is good to be blur instead of acting smart
sometimes.
: (

moody friday

Today
I feel like blogging
but
I don't know what I should write.
I am a lil moody
perhaps because of
side effect of having medicine?
Feeling dizzy!
This makes my heart dizzy as well.
Kind of tired with everything I am facing now.
Besides school work,
there is still school work.
Unfinished school work!
Loads of school work!
I didn't feel that will be my burden
as I used to enjoy the school work.
But somehow,
something went wrong today.
It made my heart disobedient.
I started thinking wildly
and
expecting wildly.
What's wrong with me today?
I hope I really know what is going on.
: (

birthday for me and mama!

Yesterday was my BIRTHDAY
as well as
my mum's BIRTHDAY!
Happy Birthday mama!
Mama,
I am sorry for deleting the photos mistakenly.
The photos are gone!
But I guess
you've the other photos with you right?
Sorry anyway!
You know,
I was totally surprised with their SURPRISE!
The best actors should go for them.
I didn't expect them celebrating my birthday all together with me.
All of them are busy with assignments and tutorials
so do I.
But they still managed to have a BIG celebration with me.
I'm so lucky to have a bunch of friends like
YOU!
Thank you very much!
YOU
make me feel that I'm a good friend of yours.
Really so sweet and warm of
YOU!
Thanks a lot
and
all the best!
Can I say
muakssssssssssssssss?
hahaha : )

I love my daddy!

I love my daddy!
He is the best dad out of the best!
I received a call from him this morning.
You may say
it is nothing special receiving a call from my dad
early in the morning.
Yea,
maybe for you,
it is really nothing special!
But,
it means a lot to me!
I had diarrhea yesterday.
He asked mama to gimme a call last night.
Perhaps he was too shy to show his concern to his daughter.
And I told them,
I was feeling much better.
I thought I wouldn't be receiving any call from them.
Who knows,
I received a call from
MY DAD
this morning!
It sounds sweet and warm right?
That's why I love my daddy so much.
He always put us ( I mean mama, gor gor and I) at his first place.
So do I.
My family is always my no. 1!
Nothing is gonna replace all these.
Appreciate the precious moment being with your family.
Without your family,
there is no you!

Share a little picture with you!
What can you think of when you see this?
A man in jail?
For me,
I think of Miri -
a place where I study!
I will be heading back to Miri very soon.
In other words,
I will be leaving my home sweet home
in less than 2 weeks time.
Do you know how I feel?
One-month holiday
is definitely a short break for me!
Once I am back to Miri,
life in prison is gonna start off.
No freedom
no life
and
my life is flooded with assignmentsssss, testssss, quizsssss and examssssss!
What to do?
Papa mama home
I miss you
: (

Paul the Oracle Octopus

World Cup 2010 is over.
I guess everyone must be hearing of this
Paul the Oracle Octopus
the most accurate and well known predictor ever!
It is just an animal
isn't it?
Can I ask him to predict my future?
haha
You know,
Paul has more than 10,000 fans
or even more!
It sounds unbelievable right?
But
it is true!
I found this from a reliable website.
It is actually from online news
so I guess the info should be reliable.
wow~
unbelievable right?
An octopus
is able to turn the world upside down
and some even are willing to spend a great amount of money
to own Paul.
This reminds me that
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!
If you are willing to believe,
EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
: )

Good Luck!

Good luck to
YOU
and
ME!!
: )

incomparable

Don't ever think that
you're smarter
you're richer
you're more handsome
you're more beautiful
you're geng-er.
In fact,
you're just noob-er
you're just uglier.
So
please don't compare yourself with another
and
don't compare others with another.
Everyone is unique.
It serves no point in comparing.
See,
it is incomparable between an apple and an orange.
Each is ONE AND ONLY!
: )

I miss you

When I am all about to cry
you are always there for me!
no reason
no delay
no complain
no grumble
you're just there for me.
I miss you
I admitted it!

wednesday blue~

Girl
I gotta stop it!!
I shouldn't do it much more!!
Don't let this happen again~
It can be easily predicted that
something is gonna be out of control.
What should I do?
What else can I do?
I should stop thinking of it.
But
it's haunting me all the time.
I try to avoid it.
But
I fail!
: (

untitled

Today
I feel like blogging.
I don't know why!
I don't know what I should write
but I just feel like writing something.
weird~
Last night
I had insomnia.
Again,
I don't know why!
This did happen recently.
Too nervous?
Nope!
Exam is over but result is gonna be released soon.
Good luck to whom it may concern : )
Just now
I was sleeping.
I wouldn't have woke up if my mum didn't make me a call.
I admitted that I am a pig BUT I ain't a fei po :P
Now
I am listening to Hitz.fm
California gurls by Katy Perry
I don't know whether I've spelled her name correctly.
Later
I am gonna work on the application.
After that?
Nap Nap Nap Nap Nap
muahahha~

A new start!

I don't wanna be the one whom others think how I should be.
I wanna be the one that solely represents me myself!
That's why
I need some changes.
So,
it all starts from the way I am blogging.
Crap Crap Crap Crap!!!
Nonsense Nonsense Nonsense Nonsense!!!
muahahaha~
By the way,
I seriously need improvement.
I am still not yet qualified.
There are lots of stuffs I don't know.
There are lots of stuffs I need to learn from.
Self improvementis really important!
Don't ever think that you're the top of the world
and
you just stop learning.
In fact,
you're just nothing!
This is what I always remind myself.
I am not the top of the world.
I shouldn't stop learning.
I ain't just referring to studies
but also
non-academic ones.

: (

What you hope is often not what you got. It sounds sarcastic right? But what to do? This is life. Real life is kind of realistic. You, I mean we are unable to change this. Sometimes our life is out of our control. Although we've tried our best, the result may turn out to be different. Accepting the fact is what you can only do. : (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

everything is nothing

I am so unhappy, experiencing something bad. Now then I know I am nothing. What I've contributed is nothing. What I've concerned on is nothing. What I've cared for is nothing. Everything is nothing. Some may say only truth is revealed when you're in anger. Initially I thought it was just ridiculous but now it's true. You won't find it true unless you experience yourself. Because of the anger in you, you've the gut to reveal everything. Otherwise, you don't even dare to say something out.

just stop it

I would like to stop everything when it exceeds its limit. now, it has exceeded the limit which I can afford. so, I should stop it now. please keep this in mind and keep my promise. I won't let it happen again. NEVER! this isn't belonging to me anymore. that's why I need to exit before the limit is exceeded.

revision~

I will be having my final exam 10 days later. so what do you expect me to do now? revision of course. don't ever ask me this stupid question please! haha... besides books, there are still books. I am gonna be book worm soon. I mean only for this critical period. after the exam, don't ask me something related to the books. I forget it right after that paper. I kept grumbling for the past few days. why are these units become much tougher compared to last sem? why are there still lots of definition to be memorized? why are there still lots of theories to be understood? why? why? why? hey girl, it is just first year only. you don't even reach final year yet. it is just beginning only. try to take pressure as dessert. I mean try to take it as motivation or perhaps challenge.

when I am so depressed, I look at 2 little things on my table - 1. notes from my parents ( they attached a little note for me in the parcel) 2. erik the yellow ( m & m from a guy ). I know they will be my side always although they are busy sometimes. they contribute a lot especially for my parents - sending car for us, buying air ticket when I wish to be home regardless of air ticket fees, gimme a call and giving me support when I need them much ( esp my dad. I know he purposely called me early in the morning right before I had my shell interview. but the interview was failed! haha :p).

okay~ back to origin. stop grumbling! revision isn't that terrible. maybe I should change my perception on it. I do my revision isn't for final exam. It is for gaining additional info. maybe I feel better if thinking in this manner : ) girl, revision mode ON!

love!!!!!!! : )

last night I had a night mare which was so ridiculous. it is impossible to happen what! I mean it is not possible to happen at this current stage. I should just treat this as funny dream instead. er~ kind of adventurous dream.

by the way, I realize I need them more than I can imagine. home is always the best for me! home refers to a house with family love. a house without family love isn't considered as home. i have home and i know my home is always there for me. so, they'll be my motivation forever. I love papa I love mama I love gor gor and I love you~ : )

thank you!

thanks for staying patience with me, dear. you know i was feeling bad yesterday and you tried to be with me all the time. as we have promised earlier, we tried to compromise each other and we did it. we didn't quarrel at all even though sometimes we had different opinions on certain matters. i see your changes and i feel my changes. it's so sweet and warm~ thank you!

btw, one more month to struggle. i will be set free afterward. hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mama, wait for me~ papa, wait for me~ kuhara indah, wait for me~ i will be back very very very soon! just about one month later, i will be there NOT here! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ : )

dear

frankly speaking, i don't feel good today. it is not my day! I had a wonderful and sweet week with him and now everything has to back to square one. you know, all memories are still fresh in my mind as if everything's just happened in a moment ago. I am telling myself that I am not missing him. but................................................ it is a stupid way to get rid of loneliness. yea, i miss him. so what?! it is time to stop these and back to assignmentsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss~


dear, you know i am missing you and i know you are too~

........................................

loneliness is torturing me now. i don't know why and i don't know what's going on. you know, i just can't stand for every single lonely moment. it makes me feel terrible. i need to rush my assignments but i just don't feel like doing the assignments. why? don't ask me! even me myself don't know why. .....................................................................= (

cheer up me myself~

it is time to face the truth although i am not willing to do so~ it is time for me to learn from mistake. it is time for me to learn from the past. it is time for me to gain additional experience. in fact, i am not that smart as i thought. it was just an illusion! i didn't realise it was an illusion until i failed my assignment. i deserved it what! this is the lesson for me not being too confident. i fell terribly and it hurts man! stop my stupid thinking stop my stupid action. i am not the top of the world. so, it is no need to do everything in a perfect way. btw, it is not the end of the world. it isn't bad matter what! at least i learn something. i learn to be humble i learn to be honest to my standard i learn not to expect too much. the most expected will come when you expect the least. cheer up girl~

talking to myself~

girl, you should know that not everyone is able to take it. this may be good for you but this doesn't mean it is good for others too. stop being selfish! stop behaving in that way! you desire to own it but you just can't make it. get it? the more you desire to get it, the more you are suffered. so, just stop it and think twice. is it worth? stop it please~

no boring pls!

I can't let this happen in my uni life! oh my goodness! my current uni life is just all about studies studies studies and no anything else. it is so boring you know? i can't stand for it anymore. most of my friends prefer staying at home. c'mon~ let's join activities or clubs! don't let our uni life so boring what!

thank you girls!!!

well... i am very happy since yesterday as the debate was over FINALLY! we prepared it 3 weeks before the debate. we're afraid of not enough preparation. but somehow, on that day, it was out of my expectation. 3 of us did quite well. i mean it's totally better than what i imagined! GOOD JOB GIRLS! you know, i can feel that we're totally in A team. i don't know how much we're gonna get for this presentation but i am already satisfied with our performance. THANK YOU GIRLS! =)

i am talking to myself

it serves no point to be the perfect one and it is impossible to be that! i am not superman. i just can't do everything in perfect way. i've tried to achieve the best. i found out that it's just so tiring to do so. think of parents! they wanna me be a happy uni student instead of being the best student. stop giving yourself pressure! certain level of stress is essential to motivate you but too much pressure is gonna drive you crazy. just try your very best. i know parents won't put the blame on me if i can't make it. they just wanna me be happy =)

sorry yet thank you

i am trying hard to hide it well but i just can't make it. i am so sorry for making some of my friends worry about me so much. some has realized about the differences. i hope no one will make notice of that anymore. please don't! even you do, can you try to act as if you don't know? thank you very much! i just don't want to talk much on it.

time heals everything. i hope it works in my case! get up and smile =)

thank you my love~

distance relationship is not easy to maintain. it needs a great deal of courage, love and determination. we know it is difficult to maintain our relationship, but we will try our very best. as you said, this will be a challenge for us. if we do manage to overcome this, our relationship will be safe and steady. it can be seen that you've grown mature a lot. you're not the one who i knew 2 years ago. you've changed a lot! but somehow, i am just a little baby just like what you always describe me as. sorry for being childish enough and thanks for accepting who i really am. =)

i don't understand!

i just don't really understand. human being is kinda weird animal. for example, they say that it is A today but it turns out to be B tomorrow. get what i mean? if you don't get it, just let it be. just........ don't fully believe on "sweet" promise. it might turn out to be different with what you think. still can't get what i mean? well well~ LET IT BE! = /

monday

i have a strong feeling. how should i say? erm........ something bad? or i put it in this way. if you know that it is impossible to happen on you, will you keep figuring it out? will you? i am not sure how others react but i am kind of person that do not behave like a mature one. i mean i will be thinking of something impossible. what to do? this is me. i am who i am! accept who i am not critise who i really am. get it?

well well~ gotta stop talking nonsense! haha... =)

感触

今天我不想用英文来表达我的心情. 2010才刚刚开始, 但是我的感触很多很多. 短短的半个月却发生很多事情看透很多事情, 这是件好事吗? 我不知道. 也许我还不够成熟还是那么地看不开. 我依然在意着, 虽然我看起来不是那么地在乎. 我应该怎么做? 有时侯, 伤害造成了是需要一定的时间去痊愈. 两年? 三年? 还是要更多更多? 同样的事情发生可是不同的人造成, 而待遇却是那么地不同. 我能做什么呢? 只能做好自己本份其他的什么都不想.

tuesday blue

how should i express feelings of today? lemme think! should i express politely? haiz. i don't know la. i choose to say nothing. . . . . .

missing you~

today wasn't a good day for me. i am missing missing missing missing missing you. i know you knew it! please do take care, dear~ muakssssssssssssssssssssss.....